Yep, that’s how good that fool was.

OK, sure, skateboarding is not a crime… “Skateboarding is not a sport” is also quite a popular theory among skateboard thinkers. I think that Consolidated came up with “Skateboarding is not a sandwich” some time ago. That’s all cool, but I wanted to know what skateboarding really is not, so I googled “skateboarding is not” and, besides “skateboarding is not a crime” which comes up a trizillion times, here’s what I found out:

Skateboarding is not Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 or the X-games or…
Skateboarding is not an Olympic sport
Skateboarding Is Not A Trial
Skateboarding is not recommended for young children
Skateboarding is not a “sport” and we do not want skateboarding exploited and transformed to fit into the Olympic program
skateboarding is not only redundant, but also slightly retarded
Skateboarding is not dangerous
Skateboarding is NOT: Tony Hawk games; World Industry clothing; Avril Laviegne; drug-using space-cadets
skateboarding is not really recognized as a mainstream sport and kids in Anchorage don’t have a lot of places to skate
Skateboarding is not lawful
skateboarding is NOT more important than… cheese; grass; coke; rockets; bed; beans on toast with cheese; mam & dad; non-squashed frogs
skateboarding is not like tobogganing you can control a skateboard
skateboarding is not a means of transport
Skateboarding is not an art
Skateboarding is not just about mastering the moves
skateboarding is not organized and run by adults
Skateboarding is not allowed
Skateboarding is not that easy in Finland in the winter
Skateboarding Is Not A Hobby
Skateboarding is not permitted in the Inner Harbor
Skateboarding is not allowed on the boardwalk
skateboarding is not necessarily more dangerous than other sports
skateboarding is not an option in my household
Skateboarding is not banned on all of UC’s campus
skateboarding is not simply presented as art
skateboarding is not just a guy thing anymore
skateboarding is not a fashion show
Skateboarding is not the best in graphics
skateboarding is not a crime unless u suck at it
skateboarding is not a sport but just something that kids do to get from place to place though sometimes they stop and watch me working on …
skateboarding is NOT more important than… sex; smoking; drink; food; my hair; love; world peace; breathing
Skateboarding is not allowed on campus due to the damage frequently caused as skateboarders perform “tricks” on the permanent fixtures of the campus
Skateboarding is not and never will be able to be labeled as anything single
skateboarding is not about, looking cool, or doing tricks on a board, but more often hanging with your friends
skateboarding is not a fad
skateboarding is not really popular in the Philippines
skateboarding is not inherently dangerous and provides a environmentally friendly means of travel
skateboarding is not your traditional sport
Skateboarding is not terribly important in the grand scheme of things
skateboarding is NOT cool
skateboarding is not about showing off to anyone or showing up anyone
skateboarding is not allowed on the sidewalks
Skateboarding is not just a game but also a form of transportation, hobby for some people and profession for others
skateboarding is not without risk
skateboarding is not fun
Skateboarding is not just for kids
Skateboarding is not only a sport, it is a lifestyle
Skateboarding is not a bad game at all; in fact, there are more than a few people who might like it enough to purchase it
skateboarding is not very popular probably because it is so difficult
Skateboarding is not about who can learn the best tricks and the most amount of tricks
skateboarding is not specifically included in the list of activities set forth in § 37-729(3)
Skateboarding is not an easy activity to become innvolved in for many reasons
Skateboarding is not a wee kids toy
skateboarding is not for the faint-hearted
Skateboarding is not a crime in Israel and there is no police
Skateboarding is not easy
Skateboarding is not “underground” it is not “subversive” or any other major statement
Skateboarding is not invisible
skateboarding is not just using the skateboard decks and going to play in the streets
skateboarding is not the popular thing to do
Skateboarding is not destructive
skateboarding is not for you
skateboarding is not helped by this
skateboarding is not based on income
SKATEBOARDING IS NOT A FUCKING SPORT GODDAMN IT
Skateboarding Is Not Bad
skateboarding is not just for boys
skateboarding is not ready
Skateboarding is not only about putting your body on the line to film a trick or take first place in a contest
Skateboarding is not recommended in children less then five years of age
skateboarding is not sanctioned by the California Interscholastic Federation
Skateboarding is not recommended for children 5 years and younger because they are still growing
Skateboarding is not recommended for children under 6 because they are still growing and do not have the physical and thinking ability a person needs to …
Skateboarding is Not a Game
skateboarding is not lame in any way
skateboarding is not SOOO populair in my country (Netherlands)
skateboarding is not a summer sport and for gods sake
skateboarding is not an excuse not to exercise your limbs
skateboarding is not going anywhere

… to be continued.